Smiles Hiya All

CHATROOM!

all aloneeee in the chatbox

aww poor puppy *huggles*

Hello? Isn't there anyone left?

yeah, just me

*huggles*

we are alone on here

Hi, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm now in Cali. I stopped in at a starbucks, which there are certainly a lot of around here. I swear every time I turn around it's like they're fucking in the alley and shooting out new starbucks. It's insane. But I'm happy.er. I did miss my home and I am happy to finally be back. I'm working on either a job or whatever I can get. I'm not going to be on as often as I was, but I will try and keep in touch. It's just hard because I have to wait until no one wants to bother me before I can leave to go to the starbucks or whatever. I'm living in my brother's house and he has 2 little kids, it's a nightmare, but it's better than living out on the street or in my car. I just wanted to let you guys know that I made it ok and I'm doing ok, and you guys are on my mind, I won't forget ya ^^

Hi Kemo. Good to hear you made it to Cali ok. Yes Starbucks are all over, be glad you are not up here in Seattle where they originated from.

Good luck and keep in touch.

Hi everyone.

*rugby tackles him and licks him*

eeeeeeeeee

mmmmmmmmmm

*licks her all over*

hehehe

Happy Birthday Arashi!!!

Yes, Happy late turkey day...s...and happy Arashi birthday I ate turkey, sat down in a chair and watched tv at my grandma's house, oh yeah.

Yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Arashi.

BOO!¬!! hey kemo, how you been?

Chatbox

indeed!

I agree!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his
lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:


Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my
interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were
supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL!



Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I
loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!
I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and
pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc
of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!


Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on
the face of her microwave.


Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it
couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I
sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little
soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed
to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I
thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought
better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this
thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some
assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?


So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses
perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock
and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause
muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst
would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out
of water Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
batteries.


All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long,
less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with
two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst
from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.



I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs
to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . ..
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD .. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up
in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over
and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal
position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire,
testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in
the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing
sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above
the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body
flopping all over the living room.


Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note
of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap
yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from
your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst
would be considered conservative?
IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at
that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the
fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where
it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still
twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my
bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my
sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I
believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering
a significant reward for their safe return!



P.S... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift,
and now regularly threatens me with it!



FUCKING EPIICCC!!!!!

i nearly pissed ymself and now my stomach hurts

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html


this one as well, i actually started crying i was laughing so much

Hiya Just checking in to let you guys know I'm doing ok. You guys don't seem to be online much anymore, every time I check in nobody's here D: I think getting rid of Meebo actually made it harder for us to keep in touch on the forum, but I know the cons outweighed the pros. Stupid meebo...anyways, Hope you guys have an awesome year and any new years revelations come true ^^ *hugs to all of ya*

I don't know where to post this, and I don't want to make a story about it. I also don't want to be judged on what I chose to do. I just want peace. I want to tell someone. I'm going to explode if I don't. I wrote this, in third person omnipotent, because its how I viewed the whole thing, up until the last part. Yes, this is based on fact. No, I don't plan on breaking up with him.

The pain gripped her chest as she took the first breath since reading his text. Her world tilted, and she felt dizzy, her stomach roiling. No tears came to her eyes, as she was in shock. But, not enough shock to stop the physical reaction. It came in like a freight train, slamming into her chest, achieving its target, her heart, but as an after effect, hitting every major organ as the train crumpled off the tracks. The adrenaline trickled through her non-working veins. Her breath came in mild hyperventilation.

“You want to know the truth? She blew me. Now go off and cry, while I go commit suicide.”

The text made no sense. He didn’t cheat. He promised her. She knew he didn’t cheat. He loves her. He told her every day. The day it happened, too. Or, didn’t happen. She knew he was lying. She trusts him with her life. There’s no way he would do anything to hurt her.

But, as her mind went over that, she remembered hearing a story about a sore crotch that day. Getting punched by a guy friend while sledding. Piece by piece, her mind slowly put the puzzle together, a puzzle she would’ve liked to have left on the shelf. And, it slammed into her again. Her body shook, tremors that made her feel so cold, so lifeless. Nobody could be this cold and still living. And, after all this, she let her breath out, in a rushed sigh.

It was true. He had done such awful things, with an apparently close friend. Her first reaction was to blame herself. Her next was her next destination. A church.

Her mind reviewed every painstaking moment with him, laughing, hugging, dancing, crying, singing, kissing, merely staring into each other’s eyes, the love, the sparks between them. Was it all a sham? Did she make it all up? Was it only in her mind, all the things she saw? The time spent, in his arms? Every brush of lips, every touch that excited the other in ways unimaginable? It had to be true. She could remember the feel of his flesh on hers.

It hurt. Every breath that entered her chest, rattled around and took turns using her bronchi as punching bags. And it scraped her throat as it left. A sound played distantly at her ears, drowned out by the sound of blood in her ears. She then realized it was a scream, and wondered who it was. Her brother didn’t ever show emotion, and why would her mom be screaming on Christmas Eve?

She realized only a few seconds later, the scraping of her throat got worse. She was screaming. Every inhale was a pause in her wailing.
Then, all hell broke loose.

It hit her, emotionally. He had her virginity. Her first kiss. Her trust. Her heart. Her soul. Her love. Her stories. Her past. Her present. And, she hoped he’d have her future. All the walls torn down, the rubble finally coming in on her. It hurt her to think about. It played over and over in her mind, him getting kissed by her. The kiss continuing. Her hands roaming the body, the body that wasn’t hers to explore. “It’s mine,” she whispered, defeated.

She couldn’t stop the full body tremors. She kept shaking. Getting up, she fumbled with the light until it was off, then sat on her bed. With her back to the wall, she curled up on her old bed, pulling her knees tight into her chest. Her teeth chattered. In her newly adopted fetal position, she began rocking herself, trying to say that everything would be alright.

A tear finally rolled down her face. And, before more could come, she got up, and grabbed her keys and phone. Not a word passed between her and her oblivious family, as she sped out the front door. Once in the safety of her own crappy little car, she let out her rage. She screamed. She kept screaming while she put the key in the ignition, and as she drove down her street.

Eventually, the tears built, out of the intense pain in her throat, out of rage, helplessness, sorrow, and above all, confusion. Why? Why now? Why at all?

The sobs built in her chest, and she let it out. Eventually she pulled over, the tears and snot running out of all orifices on her face. The pain was ever changing, from a dull ache to the feeling of just having been shot.

Just as quickly as it came, the sobs left her.

She had no idea as to what her destination was. All she knew was that she needed a bit of alone time. To sort her thoughts.
Apparently her subconscious led her to his family’s house. Still only halfway across town, just like in high school. Her fist clenched on the steering wheel, and her knuckles turned bright white. She got out of the car, and tried gently closing the door. She heard a crack come from the glass of her windows.

Drying her face, she knocked on the door, and when his mother answered, her deep blue eyes inquiring, she opened her mouth to speak, but never got a word out.

“He’s in his room.”

She nodded once and stepped in the house, past his round mother. Her feet found themselves going slowly, and before long, she was at his bedroom door. With a hard swallow, she stepped in.

“Riley, I swear to god, I’m so close to changing here and ripping your arms off, its not even funny. You’re an ass, and I should break up with you. But, sucks for you, because you know I have daddy issues, and I cling. So, you break up with me, and everyone will think its for another woman. I want to tell you, that I can’t help but love you. No, not because you’re a cheating bastard. No, not because you told the truth, which even required persuasion. I still love you, because you were the only on to tell me you loved me the way you did. Nobody ever told me anything like that. You make promises of the future, and it makes me so happy. I would love talking with you for many a late night in high school about the future we’d have together. About our kids. Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking, when you cheated. Apparently your love isn’t as prominent as it used to be. You would tell me how you couldn’t concentrate in your courses because all you were writing on your papers were, ‘Aly + Riley = Forever’. I can’t make you stay in love with me. I just want to know the whole truth. What happened? Why? Is it so hard to keep it in your pants, that you can’t stand me not being here the whole break, so you had someone else get you off? Think of little Kaeli and Patrick. The kids we were going to have.
Do you still want that life? I do. I want it with every fiber of my being. But, I have to know how you feel. Do you really love me?”

She got closer, onto his bed, and stared him in the eyes. His eyes flashed wolf-like, and hers responded. She was on top of him, keeping him pinned down. The purest of anguish was written in his eyes. No tears spilled, and they didn’t have to. His pain was written on his face.

“GOD DAMN IT RILEY, ANSWER ME. DO YOU LOVE ME OR NOT?!”

He whimpered, and began sobbing. She’d never made him cry before, but, even under the conditions, she wanted to hold him tight, work it out, to pet his hair and cradle him. With his cool complex, seeing him cry made her feel internally agitated. But she wouldn’t, unless he said he really did love her. The pain inside made her want to die, but she’s endured a life time of it, little by little. She pressed on, staring at him.

Finally, when he got his tears to a controllable point, he stared right into her eyes, like no stare she’d ever met. Not while making love, not while silly confessions of love, not from rivals of other packs. Nobody had caught her by the soul and kept her still.
“Alyson, I love you. I really do. I can’t begin to tell you how much I do. You remember in the summer, when I tried breaking up with you? Well, that should tell you how well of a decision making skill I have. No, I’m not saying you ever need to forgive me. I don’t deserve it. I just want you to hear me out. There isn’t any other person in this world I could imagine spending the rest of my life with. I really wish I could go back and take it all back, but what’s done is done. There is no antidote to your pain. All we can do is move on. Feel free to hate me. And, I don’t expect you to trust me again anytime soon, or maybe even ever. I screwed up so bad…” he trailed off, a soft hitch in his breathing.

Falling forward, she landed on him, no more strength to hold herself up. This aroused an ‘oof’ from him. She just laid there, on his skinnily muscled chest. His arms moved at his sides, unsure of what to do. And, desire won over judgment. He wrapped his arms around her, and hugged her tightly. She cried into his shirt, not caring if she was crying with the one who hurt her.
It felt good to be held, petted. Every now and then, he would croon, “I love you, Alyson,” and, “I’m so sorry…”

=/ <--- this is me not judging but still feeling sorry for and empathizing with. This is me listening.